In defeat lies our soul.
I’m on the train, coming back from one of the biggest cock ups of my career so far.
I stopped after 80km during my first World Championships, I won’t go into the reasons why, but here is what I learnt.
People will remember me for who I am, not what I’ve done.
This weekend I met new athletes, new people, new friends. Relationships I will never forget. It felt great to make people smile, all be it not through my racing.
It made me realise the power of emotion.
Seeing people happy and content is something that ignites a certain energy in me.
Something I never knew.
So with this defeat I have learnt, I have grown, and I have cried.
Cried a lot.
Most of them tears managed to stay in my body, as I didn’t want to spoil other people’s day. After having been pretty useless during my race, I tried my best to be the most helpful and faithful human.
From now on I will seek this purpose no matter what.
Winning means nothing if you’re an asshole.
This year I realised lots of people love me when I win, when I’ve performed, when I’ve ticked the box.
What I didn’t realise was the support I have even when I hit rock bottom. I’ve chosen a lifestyle that will never be plain sailing, I don’t just go to the office and get a cheque every month, I don’t meet the same people every week, I can’t guarantee I’ll make it next month, and that is special.
The « why? » The « how »? The « when »?
This lifestyle I’ve chosen forces me to learn.
It’s a beauty.