This may seem like a weird topic to bring up, but in my eyes it plays a key factor in any athletes training and is also something we encounter every single day.
So, what am I talking about exactly? Maybe you think I’m just completely mad to have « conversations with myself » (and you may very well be right) but to be perfectly honest in my own case I actually have more conversations with myself than with people in general. Why? I think mainly due to going out of my comfort zone most days.
I’m writing this after a tough day of training so these « talks with myself » are still clear and fresh for you to understand.
So, this morning’s menu was 6km Zone 3 swim, followed by a 1h45 run. Sounds alright hey? Well not today. From the moment I got in the pool my body was screaming to stop every time I touched the wall. In fact I was so exhausted after just 800m I was starting to see tears in my goggles, and all my body wanted was to go and rest. From there on I spent over 3hours telling myself « just keep working ». From the outside however it looked like I was going to give up, my rest times on the swim were short and every time I just said one thing « I can’t do it » then I heard my dad say 2…1…Go, again and again and again. I’ve never felt so mentally and physically drained after just a swim session (obviously this was due to the accumulation of a long week of training).
I remember walking into the changing rooms and after about 10mins I realised I was sat stark bollock naked staring at the wall thinking why the hell am I doing this. This is when I had a serious word with myself. Some voice inside my head told me to get off my ass and just grit my teeth and toughen up a little. Why? Because it’s always that little extra that will make the big changes. Some days are easier than others. The easy days are the hard sessions where you feel great, and the toughest ones are always the days you feel like just giving up.
This morning I went to a very very dark place, a place that seems lonely and deprived from any « goodness ». I’ve learnt over time that if you overcome this dark place and manage to come out the other side, the result is only greater.
Always move forward, no matter how long it takes you, step by step, it’s possible.