I’m back at it. Slow and enjoying it, just how it needs to be in December.
I’m normally one to commit 200% when I start training, but me and Rich found out the hard way that I need to tame my motivation for when the hard work really needs to get done. In 2019 I felt exhausted from March till October, I’d lost the pleasure of my profession. So these few words are a note to myself but also to many age group athletes who go through the motions of training without ever recovering or peaking.
As athletes we all hate feeling unfit, slow, heavy, shit. Unfortunately it’s just something we need to accept every once in a while. How many times do you see top level athletes come back stronger than ever after forced time off due to injury? I feel many people have lost the skill to truly recover. Your body can recover in a few days, the mind however can take months. If you feel no pleasure in what you are doing, you’re likely in some state of mental burnout. It’s hard to accept as dreading a certain session could feel normal, not enjoying the suffering or efforts anymore is all part of what an endurance athlete thinks is normal. I’ve realised it isn’t, this break has made me realise how much I love it. It made me realise how big a role this sport plays in my life’s balance. Without it I’m simply not me.
I’ve often dedicated too much to this sport and put my heart and soul into training. Last year I had this laser focus almost a year out from Barcelona IM, after just four months of this determination I felt stronger than I ever had in training before. It didn’t last, I’d committed too much too early and simply couldn’t maintain my motivation. My brain was telling my body to take it easy, which I hated.
But right I feel I’ve learnt from my mistakes, and although I hate only training 15 hours a week and feeling fat and unfit, I kind of think it’s necessary. After all, as I said before Barcelona, everything happens for a reason.